Thursday, October 29, 2009
You Only See That Hair in a Certain Light
52 Years old. Where did the time go? You hear it all the time and certainly I feel this way... I feel much younger inside. Even my thoughts are much younger than they should be for a mature woman my age, I frequently think. I still can turn that volume way up on a favorite song, and I did recently see Bob Dylan in concert...and I did not stay seated! But when I look in the mirror I think I'm always a bit shocked. Especially in the full length one. I look like a 52 year old woman who needs to get on with the exercising and I don't like it. I am not unhappy with the inner me, it's the MB people see that needs some work! (Actually, the MB that people don't see is getting a work out all the time from the ultimate Make Over authority). Anyway, getting ready for the day today and looking in the bathroom sink mirror, the full length mirror and that special lighted close up mirror, I had these thoughts and decided to write them down - aren't you so glad? :-) No solution, no conclusion, just another post!
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Ha! I can certainly relate to this! I've been known to actually flinch when suddenly seeing myself in a mirror or window reflection - who is that old lady? Weird. How old do you feel on the inside? I feel 35ish. Oooh, that's 53 flipped. Weird. Anyway, I think it is one of life's paradoxes that a woman finally gets comfortable in her own skin about the time said skin is wrinkling and spotting! Probably good in a way, though. Now that I don't really give a flip about physical appearance...I would probably be fraught with anxiety and unhappiness if I were younger and this fat or whatever. So that is good.
ReplyDeleteI constantly have people tell me that they are surprised that I am in my 50s. When pressed for why, they usually point to me not "acting" like I'm that old. To which I reply, "and just exactly how is a 50-something woman supposed to act?" That gets them thinking. Always good to question the way we automatically put everyone in a category or box.
My mom still turns up the sound to Glenn Miller music! Her favorite saying to Drs with her various small aggravations like clogged tear ducts and things is you have to tell me these things I've never been old before. She will be 88 Nov 16. I still turn around & look for my mom when my grandkids call me Granny.
ReplyDeleteI have this same feeling. Will be 58 Friday. That's scarily close to 60, which I thought of as surely dead when I was 14! But inside - most of the time (right, Twila) I feel happy and young and just like a girl back in the day. Maybe that's why I watch Smallville and like it.
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